WONDERFULLY CRAFTED

Last weekend, I had a troubled mind about a lot of issues and the best way to feel better was to take a long walk. A long walk is a magical exercise for me, it relieves my mind. Hardly had I walked far from my house when I noticed a familiar figure. He was the biggest object on the street. As he moved his big body in a maggot-like manner, he reminded me of the old Micheline commercial on TV. How could someone allow himself to be this fat I imagined. Then I remembered an old classmate who was that fat. As I drew closer, he appeared to be the one but I didn’t want to believe because he was walking hand in hand with a very beautiful damsel I guessed was his wife. To confirm my doubt, my eyes quickly scanned his fingers, he was indeed wearing a wedding band! My God! Who could have married this UGLY guy! We almost collided while I was still wondering why after all these years he still looked the way he looked.

“Haaaaaa Emi…” He hugged me before I could say a word. I was swallowed up in his embrace just like old times. My hands could hardly spread around his sides let alone reaching his back to hug him like I would hug a ‘normal’ human.

“Long time Tom, ten years no see.” I quickly let go as I was beginning to feel intimidated by his size. He made me appear too slim.

“Yes, actually more than ten years. Sorry, meet my wife Loveth. Honey, this is an old classmate, she is Emi, I used to like her a lot but she never…”

“Ok Tom, enough of your introductions. Loveth, I am pleased to meet you.” I took a long stare at her and I couldn’t help what I felt about her. “You are very beautiful Loveth, you could pass for a model.”

“Well, I used to be a model but not anymore. I have started having children.” Her smiles were as beautiful as her looks. We chatted some more and exchanged contacts before we parted. I couldn’t help but starred after them as they walked on. How did it happen? Wasn’t Tom the ugliest human God created? How come he’s married to the most beautiful woman?

Are you thinking what I am thinking? A case of beauty and the beast right? Well, I just simply try to guess what you are thinking I didn’t say so. You see, Tom was a new student brought to our class in S.S 2. He caught the stare of the entire school when he came. He was as fat as the word FAT. He was soooooooo fat that he didn’t use the same seat like the rest of us. His was specially made to suit his big bum. It was such that one would think he was a girl because he had some two seeds growing on his chest. He was called names but he was popularly known as ‘biggy’. We teased him a lot and I remember saying that tailors would have a hard time making his clothes. He was never offended, it was as though he had got used to the teasing.

One day, he wrote me a love letter asking me to be his girlfriend. He sent it through one of his friends who read it before giving it to me. I cried after reading the letter and confided in my friend how the letter made me feel very ugly. I felt I was too beautiful to be Tom’s girlfriend. There was actually another classmate most of the girls felt was the finest boy in the class, we were already friends and were intending to date before Tom came. Having sent me the letter, he started to tell people that I was his girlfriend. I felt bad for days that I didn’t talk much in the class. News went round that I was Biggy’s girlfriend. It made me feel worse. Because of his size and his looks it was as though he was an abnormal human. I stopped talking to him or paying attention to anything about him. He was too ugly to worth my friendship let alone being my boyfriend. I secretly concluded that no woman would ever agree to marry him nor will he have many friends. But there was one thing I could not easily forget about Tom, he had a cheerful spirit and he never admitted that he was as fat as we described him.

When we left secondary school, I was glad to forget everything about him until I met him again recently. Nothing had changed about his looks but he looked happier and I guessed he must be getting the best out of life with such a beautiful wife and a cute baby to compliment.

As I continued my evening stroll, I paused for a minute to ponder on a line I heard some time ago “there’s someone for everybody’. As true as that is, a scripture gained attention in mind, “you are fearfully and wonderfully made…” It made more sense with Tom, the Biggy and ugly classmate.

The truth is, no matter how ugly you think you look or even with the way situation may be for you now, you are someone’s angel and that person will do anything to have you by their side.

A lady I know got married at 36, it had been severally said of her that she was ill mannered and proud. Some people said no man would marry her because of her character, but just last year, a man did take her to the altar!

Whose report will you believe about yourself? If Biggy had listened to our teasing in the secondary school, he would have been suffering from poor self esteem.

Take a look at yourself in the mirror, no one is created like you and no one will ever be like you. You are unique in every way and that is the truth. If you couldn’t achieve something you attempted doesn’t mean you are bad, it’s just that you are trying to gain the experience of how not to do it.

Remember always that you have been WONDERFULLY CRAFTED by your Maker.

*From my archive

What If You Caught Your Spouse In The ACT? 1

Some years ago before my plunge into journalism, I wanted to be a banker not because I studied the course but I knew that those bankers definitely earn more than most journalists. God answered my prayers and I got this bank job where I was first assigned to understudy an accountant. My job was to punch tellers most of the time. Few months later, it became a very boring job for me. There was nothing exciting, just doing same thing and seeing same faces every day. The entire routine just made life uninteresting. Then I decided I would go back to writing, at least I would be fulfilled than living a dull life punching tellers. Just when I made this decision, Akin was transferred to my department. He was young, intelligent, fun to be with and the toast of most of the female staff; married and unmarried. I imagined that his wife must be privileged to be married to him. He made the job more interesting and I looked forward to be given an assignment with him. It kind of broke my heart later when I discovered that he was unfaithful to his wife. I didn’t understand why this made me feel bad, was I also falling for him?

“Does your wife know about Angela?” I said to him one day as we worked on his computer. Angela was his girlfriend and they didn’t even make it a secret even with the fact that she was also married with two children!

“Why do you ask?” he wasn’t expecting the question and so surprise quickly spread on his face. He looked defeated because I knew he also liked me. “…well she is just my girlfriend and my wife doesn’t have to know about her.”

“What if your wife finds out? Or even her husband…” I didn’t want to believe that this fine man and a supposed responsible father didn’t see anything wrong in sleeping with another man’s wife.

“See my dear, Angela and I are in search of one thing we can’t get from our spouses…FULL satisfaction.” I discovered that Angela was just one of his girlfriends.

As if Akin’s wife was prompted, she came to see Akin that day on her way from picking the children from school. Akin wasn’t informed he had a visitor since it was his wife neither did she bother to knock because she had never done so. What her eyes saw her husband doing to Angela was demonstrated in the way she beat Angela and the commotion she caused at the bank. It was a beating Angela would not forget in a hurry.

I imagined myself or any other woman in Akin’s wife’s position, what would another woman do?

“If I walk into my husband in bed with another woman, I wouldn’t do anything but I would want to know why he would be cheating on me. For a man to cheat on his wife something must be wrong somewhere.”- Funmilola

“One can hardly trust any man, so the best thing is for a woman to keep praying for her husband and commit him into the hands of God if not the wife will kill herself with hypertension from worrying over her husband’s infidelity. But if I walk into him, it will be very difficult for me to trust him again; it can even make me look for a boyfriend too.”- Goodness

“All men cheat except that they do it in different styles. It is not until the man sleeps with a woman that makes him do it. Some men can use their eyes to strip a woman naked. I have worked in an office where a particular man is fond of touching ladies’ breasts and buttocks by mistake. Some ladies laughed at it but I found it very disgusting. If I find my husband looking at a woman lustfully, I will tell him at that instance and make him know I will not tolerate it. I wouldn’t wait for him to take the woman to bed, at least I would have noticed some signs that he is seeing someone.”- Chioma

“I believe that men who cheat do so because they do not get all-round satisfaction from their wives. It’s not just about cooking delicious meals and looking good. A woman must also know how to perform her duties very well behind the door. She should do it in such a way that the man will never go to another woman even if he is offered. I do mine well enough and I don’t expect my husband to go out but if happens I will be very disappointed and may even leave the marriage.”- Tare

“Are there still faithful men? Are there still married men who don’t have girlfriends? Even pastors. Anyway, if I find my husband doing that I will pay him back in his own coin! I will just look for one rich handsome guy to be taking care of me. In that way the equation is balanced.”- Cecilia

“It’s only an insensitive woman that would not know when her husband is having an affair because something about the way he used to treat her will change. I have never thought about this and I don’t expect my husband to do that. I will be too heartbroken that I can either kill him or kill myself and I will teach the lady a lesson she will never forget in her life. I can’t stand another woman sharing my husband.”-Mrs. Ade-oye

“For a man to lust after other women could be demonic. The other women could be manipulating him because I don’t see a reason why a man who has pledged his body to his wife will go and give it to another woman. The only thing I will do is pray for him and probably get friends to pray too and talk to him.”-Mrs Peters

“My wife is God-fearing, she can never do that. Infact I won’t even think of that. That is a very wicked act and she loves me too much to be wicked to me.”Festus

 “I do not pray such happens to us, even if she cheats I will prefer not to find out but if I do, that will mean the end of the marriage. It will be a shameful thing to remain married to an adulterer.”Vincent

“I will forgive her and take her back like nothing happened. I had cheated on her before and she found out, got angry, forgave me and showed me love like nothing happened. I will do same for her.”Triumph

My Fiancé Steals*

I do not like to talk about my affair especially making it public like I am about to do but I just need someone to talk back to me and tell me what I need to do at this point.

I don’t want to break our five years relationship and I am afraid to even get married to him. My name is Roseline and my boyfriend is Eke, we have been dating since we were in the secondary school and he has promised to marry me. I have no problem being his wife I have even told him that I will marry him as soon as he’s ready, everyone in my house and his’ knows that we have a serious relationship going for us but my worry is that my boyfriend steals and he tells me that it is the devil. He has promised to stop but he did recently and I am yet to get over it.

When we were in the university, he would ‘cleverly’ take his classmates’ textbooks and clothes of his room mates and sell he would use the money to buy me gifts which I appreciated but I really didn’t see anything wrong with this until we left school and he could not stop stealing. He now gives excuses that it’s the devil and an evil spirit from his village.

Last year June, during my brothers’ birthday party he stole someone’s phone and when they started looking for it I knew it was Eke that stole it. When I confronted him he denied. To avoid the embarrassment of being caught I excused him out of the party and of course no one suspected him. Two days later he sold the phone and I was not happy. He merely apologized to me and promised not to do it again. Some of his friends now know that one cannot leave Eke with any valuable item.

I remember a time he sold my palm top, I forgave him because I know he loved me so much that he could do more. Besides he bought the palm top for me in the first place. As Christmas approached, my elder brother sent a message that he would be coming home from New York , I wasn’t sure if I should be excited to introduce Eke to him as the person I would be marrying but I knew that my brother would ask because he had being wanting to know if I was in any relationship.

My brother arrived and Eke had only spent a night with us when things went amiss. My brother complained the next day that some dollars were missing from the wallet he left on the dining table. My heart skipped. No body steals in my family; I knew it must be Eke.I just ignored it without finding the money or who took it. I told Eke that I knew he was the one that took the money. I was shocked at his response, “how would your brother just go back to America like that, I need the dollars too. I’m sorry I did not tell anybody before I took it. You can apologize on my behalf.” I didn’t just know what to do I thought of confiding in my mother or my younger sister but I was too ashamed to say my boyfriend is a thief. Besides I always talked about him with so much pride.

As if that was not enough, Daddy’s Rolex wristwatch my brother bought for him from America also disappeared. No body takes Daddy’s item and goes free. When Daddy announced that morning that he could not find his wristwatch I quickly called Eke not to sell the wrist watch since he did not deny taking it. When I got to his house he apologized on his kneel, crying and telling me how really sorry he is for taking the wristwatch, he said it was the devil that pushed him and he didn’t know what he was doing until he took it. He told me to pray for him for God to forgive him. I told him that I had already spoken to my pastor to deliver him from the evil spirit. I didn’t know that the evil spirit may take a long time to cast out until I discovered that he had sold the wrist watch even before I called. I left disappointed.

At home, one of my brothers had told Daddy that he suspects Eke and that he knows where Eke goes to sell stolen properties. I was not as fast as Daddy and my brother went out that evening and came back with the wristwatch. Daddy didn’t say anything to me neither did my brother; I was also afraid and ashamed to ask them anything. The next day I learnt that Daddy had arrested Eke; he’s still in detection as I am writing to you. I promised him that I would bail him if he promise and can convince me that he would never steal again but Daddy had threatened that if he ever sees him again coming to visit me that he would shoot him to teach him a bitter lesson. I miss him a lot and I wish he wasn’t in the prison now. I have never loved anyone like him and I don’t know how I would be able to. But I dare not take Dad’s threats lightly. It would even be worse if Dad learns that I bail him. I really don’t know how long he would stay there and they have refused his family bail because Dad is that ‘powerful’. Forgetting him is not even an issue because I still love him.

*Mails from my box

Is love oath real?

When Sarah met Jude in her second year in the university, he was her dream come true as he was the kind of man she had always wished for. Their relationship blossomed and was the talk of the school. Being a year ahead of her, he graduated before her with a promise that he would marry her. She didn’t even need to think or discuss it with anyone before she agreed to his proposal.

Sarah had met Jude’s parents and siblings and they seem not to have any problem with her. Jude’s sisters and Sarah were like best friends. She was free to visit his house and she sometimes spends the weekend with his family. Sarah’s parents had no trouble with their daughter marrying Jude except that they insisted that Sarah must finish her Youth Corp before marriage. Everyone was at peace when they agreed that she would have to finish NYSC first. That was also to allow Jude sometime to prepare for the wedding and the new home. Although, his parents had promised that they would give him one of their houses in Abuja as a wedding gift. Having lived in Lagos for a long time, he didn’t like the idea of going to Abuja but Sarah convinced him that it would just be for a start. They could always relocate back to Lagos once they start making their own money. It was a good suggestion for Jude and so he took it.

When Jude was getting ready to leave for service it was very difficult for Sarah. She had never had to live without seeing Jude for the stretch of two weeks.

Sarah cried that night like she had never did. Her attitude moved Jude to tears too. He promised her that distance would mean nothing to their relationship. He also suggested that as soon as the orientation was over he would come home. That night he gave her a ring as a symbol that he would truly marry her once the time is right. They spent the night talking and consoling each other. Jude tried to explain to her that there would really be a time in a man’s life when he would have to stay away from his wife at least for some time.

Jude was sure that he would keep to his promise. To seal that promise he suggested that they take a blood oath. It wasn’t a bad idea for Sarah who had made up her mind to spend the rest of her life with Jude. Well past mid-night both of them lay naked in his room, each of their thumbs bleeding from a new blade with which they used to make the cutting. As they lick each other’s blood they swore to themselves that they would never marry anyone else till death. They included that even if they try they would never find happiness with any other partner. They made love till morning as part of the oath. It was relief to both of them. They started addressing themselves as married.

He kept to his promise and came home immediately orientation was over. In camp, Jude was a company to be with even the NYSC officials liked him and they favored him. He was posted to town and given a good accommodation. He was well paid like a staff and they told him he could be employed if he wanted to stay. He knew Sarah wouldn’t buy the idea and so decided against it. His performance reached the organization’s head office in Lagos.

Just when he started working Sarah was posted to Oyo. Good, a place he would visit whenever he wanted to. As part of his training in his new job, he would attend a meeting in France. The management had decided that Jude would be a member of their board. He was not just intelligent, he was smart. He thought it was time to make good money and marry his sweetheart; Sarah. She was glad that he was going abroad and She perceived that he was going to be a great man. Her family wasn’t rich, so here is one who may eventually take her abroad.

He was to stay for four weeks but management encouraged him to stay 12 weeks to attend a course .He couldn’t tell Sarah but he promised that he would tell her when he arrives to make it seem like he never knew.

France was what Jude never imagined. Both at the meeting and the training he was treated as a king. He didn’t know that the management had sent him along with some non Nigerians to start a branch. It was a pleasant surprise. And the pay check per annum was what he knew he would never get in Nigeria for 10 years. He mailed Sarah and told her to be getting ready to relocate to France.

For Sarah, the surprise was not a good one. She didn’t want to live so far from her family. She had thought she would only have to visit abroad and not live there. While she was trying to convince Jude to drop the offer and come home, Jude was trying to convince her to relocate to France. This issue persisted for two years. Jude thought it was not reasonable to leave the job that has made him a millionaire in a short time.

In those two years, the relationship went sour. Jude gave up and they lost contact for a year. It became difficult for Sarah to get into another relationship. Jude’s parent didn’t even make better the issue at all. They just told Sarah to forget about him and carry on. They infact discouraged her and she suspected that it was because Jude was doing so well abroad. Efforts to get his new contact from his sisters were futile.

Sarah received the shock of her life when just the last Christmas Jude came back to Nigeria after three years with a pregnant French lady. They got engaged on the 26^th and went back to France on the 29^th. He didn’t come to apologize and she never set her eyes on him.

It’s been 5yrs and still difficult for her and she feared that she would never be able to get married because of the blood oath they took. She also suspects that Jude’s marriage may not last if the blood oath is active. She is more in a dilemma than she bargained. Moving on with life has become difficult.

Is blood oath real?

Money Matter: To Tell or Not to Tell

Last week when I sampled some opinions about couples, who engage in verbal and physical abuse to settle issues, I didn’t know that I was only stirring the hornet nest. I got replies that got me wondering; that there are more women who beat their husband especially with tongue lashes.  I mentioned in my story that the husband beat up his wife because she didn’t want him to know how much she had in her bank account. Interestingly, that line caught more attention than the major issue discussed. This prompted me to also find out from some people what really is the issue between husband, wife, and money?

One of my older colleagues Vivian, was having problems trusting her husband because her husband never tells the truth when it comes to money. The last brawl they had was also because of money. Vivian asked that her husband increased the monthly allowance for the upkeep of the home because she discovered a letter where it was stated that her husband’s salary was slightly increased. The man refused stating that his salary had even been reduced because the company was having some internal problems. Vivian didn’t agree to this and so decided that she would not be telling the man whenever she had money.  This didn’t go well with the man who felt that his wife must be submissive in all ways including with her money.

This is not just with Vivian and her husband, it is common in most marital relationships for money to be the major issue of concern. The truth is just like the Bible says that the love of money is the root of all evil, it is also the enemy of successful marriages. I hear some men say women like money too much. Fine, but will the relationship be sweet if there is no money to spend? If the couple can reach an understanding on how their money should be disbursed it makes handling finances easy in the home. If you cannot be transparent about your money with your spouse, chances are that you may find it difficult to be transparent with each other in other issues.

Sometimes ago too, I wanted to use a friend’s lip-gloss when I discovered her cheque booklets and other bank data in her handbag. I was surprised because that meant she had been going everywhere with them. She noticed my surprise and quickly said, “My friend that is for security reasons.  My husband must not know how much I have in my account. You know men will not use their eyes to see money or else their hands will not rest until they finish spending it.”

So I decided to talk to some women and few men on why they would prefer not tell their spouse about their finances.

“If I tell my husband exactly how much I have, he will not give me money as he is supposed to. He will want me to use my money until I have nothing left. Sometimes he would even say “use your money I will pay you later” and he never does but if he doesn’t know I have money he will give me.”…Ibukun

“Most times my husband doesn’t know how much I have and if he doesn’t ask I will not tell him. That does not mean that if he wants to know I will lie to him. I don’t usually use his money for the everyday running of the home while my money is in reserve for special demands or emergency use and I don’t mind because when his money comes I will still collect it back from him.”….Love

“A woman is meant to be taken care of by her husband and that means that the man should not be asking what she has to contribute in taking care of her. She is his responsibility and he should do it without complain. I don’t have to tell my husband how much I have.”…Gift

“Before my wife and I got married, we agreed that we would have a joint account. I did that because I didn’t want her to come asking me for money when I don’t’ have it. She doesn’t even ask me, she just goes and withdraw from that account. I have never gone there to withdraw before. So she knows that when there’s no money there, it’s her fault because I put a particular amount there every month. But I really don’t see any big deal in telling my wife about my money. What if I die tomorrow?”…Thomas

“It’s not good to tell a woman the exact amount a man has in his account because she will keep demanding until she finishes the money. My wife doesn’t even ask me how much I have on me. She just believes that I always have money whenever she needs something she will ask and when I don’t have I will tell her but she will never stop talking about it until I meet her demands.”…Biyi

WHAT’S WRONG WITH TRYING TO CHANGE MY HUSBAND?

I was privileged once to be around a mother and her daughter who had just been married for only nine months. The marriage was having many troubles that the husband, Frank threatened to break up. Mama was eventually invited to use her wealth of experience to solve the disagreement. And what was the fuss about? Frank talks with food in his mouth and he doesn’t see anything wrong with this especially because he had always eat-talk since he was a boy. For Kate it was not just a bad table manner, it irritated her that she avoided eating on the same table with him! She confronted him during breakfast one morning and Frank let loose the anger he had been bottling up since she started telling him not to eat and talk with food in his mouth. His point was, first it was his food, his mouth, in his house, his wife and that was the habit in the three years they dated before marriage and she never complained. So why now?

Mama’s advice was, “Kate never try to change your husband you may change the marriage into what you never anticipated. Instead try to understand him and appreciate him just the way he is. The love that blinded your eyes while you were dating that you never realized that he eat-talk may that love keep you blind to that aspect of him now that he’s your husband”

Woman, do you ever find yourself in the position of wanting to change your husband or you just wish he wasn’t the one you married in the first place? You tell yourself, “If this man would change, then things would sure be a lot better,” “If he would just do what I say we wouldn’t be having this much misunderstanding.”

It doesn’t help your relationship—not in the least—to focus on all the “stuff” you think your husband needs to change. Have you considered changing to suit those aspects of you he complains about? The truth is people tend to see faults in others except themselves. It is enormously useful to address what you are doing or saying, the way you convey your message of change to him, look at your own reactions, and ponder your own fears and emotions. Your approach may just be your weak point. It does help when you do your own personal work. Your husband is not just any man, he is not your subordinate in the office even if you earn more than him or are more educated and traveled than him. Don’t’ expect him to change because you say so.

A man said, “When my wife and I get into something, I have the ability to go off by myself and start thinking, I have always been like this why wouldn’t she let me be? She does even worse and she wants me to bend for her. That’s very productive for her. It’s a waste of time for me, and makes me less of the man. I give that orders, she gives the suggestions.” He is reacting from what the wife said and the way she said it. In some cases a wife can get her husband to change to some extent if the right approach is employed to convey the message.

Woman, you are responsible for the reaction you get when you want your husband to change from a bad habit. Although success in marriage lies with the couple but it is believed that over half of that percentage lies with the woman. Remember this: when your buttons get pushed, they’re yours, and you are responsible for them. How much more productive it is when they can honestly say, “Wait a moment! These are my buttons. It’s my job to understand where that came from, what that’s about, and to control my reaction when my buttons get pushed.” Same way, it is your marriage; it is your responsibility to handle it with care.

Conflict is resolved much quicker when you focus on changing yourself rather than your husband.

Next time you are tempted to get into an argument with your husband over changing something about him, consider the following:

• Is it worth arguing about?
• If you must argue, the heat of anger that you will regret later.
• Just say what you want to say without going on longer than necessary.
• Listen to him if he has something to say.
• Resist the urge to get in the “last word.” It hurts him.
• If he apologizes, forgive and ask for forgiveness
• Always remember even the most loving couples have conflicts.

Am I in love with two Sisters*

I have never been able to talk about this until now.

I am in a dilemma that needs to be solved quickly and I wish I really knew exactly what to do but I am also been careful not to be a loser from both sides. With my birthday fast approaching it comes with sad memories like it did in the previous years. I’m a graduate and currently self employed. I have a business center but things have not been easy with me financially since I left school four years ago.

According to my plans, I thought that by now at 30 I would have been married with kids but I have not been able to afford certain basic things that would make a woman comfortable let alone marrying her.

My challenge started about two years ago when my girlfriend, Tina and I went to visit one of her elder sisters Maria on Christmas Eve. Before then, Tina and I have been dating for over two years and I have been promising to see her family members to formally introduce myself as her fiancé.

From the day we visited Maria, I sensed that she was not comfortable about our relationship, although that wasn’t my first time of seeing her but I had never been to her house. When we were alone in the  sitting room, Tina was in the kitchen helping to cook some food; she sat very carelessly opposite me. Maria had no underwear on! When she saw that I became uncomfortable she smiled and told me to be a man. That was when I knew she was doing it deliberately. I couldn’t guess what she was up to so I just pretended I didn’t get her message. When we were about to leave, she encouraged us not to get married yet emphasizing how I couldn’t afford the expenses which was true. Tina took sides with me and said we would manage. We had agreed on a low key wedding ceremony.

Maria gave me a very embarrassing hug and kissed me, I thought Tina would have noticed. As we left, I didn’t know if to tell my girlfriend what just happened. I decided to forget about it.

The following day, which was Christmas Tina, came excitedly to tell me that her sister had a surprise Christmas gift for me. Maria wanted to loan me #150,000.00 to start any business of my choice and would also sponsor our wedding. I objected but Tina persuaded me giving me the options of many things we could do with the money. I suspected that Maria could be up to something. She is quite rich, about five years older than Tina and two years older than I but she is not married. I eventually collected the money and decided that I was going to do fish farming as it seems the business in vogue.

That Christmas evening after visiting a couple of friends I went alone to collect the money. Maria gave me an overwhelming thrill of welcome which showed that she was not only expecting me but excited to see me. After eating a sumptuous meal, she gave me #200,000.00 cash and told me it was a dash. I thanked her and told her that I would use the money wisely and would not disappoint her. Running late and for fear that I may not get a bus going back to my house that night I wanted to hurry away but she asked me to help to fix a wall hanger in her bedroom. Getting into the bedroom she was already naked. Quickly she locked the door and threw the key out of the window.She begged me to make love to her. She told me how long she had wanted us to have an affair. When I asked her about her sister she told me we won’t make it known to her. She promised that she would give me more money if I would have an affair with her, make her pregnant but marry her sister. I told her I could get a friend for her if she really needed a man to be having sex with her. She insisted it must be me. When I could not continue with the fight I gave in and we made love till morning.

The next day I felt so guilty that I refused to go see Tina and was glad that Maria never told her. Maria eventually got pregnant, she didn’t disclose the paternity of the child and Tina and I had done our traditional marriage. She has moved into my home and pregnant with our first child.

I am currently torn between two sisters. Maria still makes me have sex with her. She has threatened that if I refused she would tell Tina what has been happening between us and I can’t stand losing Tina. What puts my heart at rest is that she has moved to Sango an area quiet far from where we live so it’s not easy for Tina to know. Although she knows that her sister and I are close but she doesn’t know that I am the father of her child. I really wish I knew what to do. A friend suggested that I relocate with Tina to somewhere we would be far from her family members. I need someone to talk to me to have a very happy birthday.

*Letters from my treasure box