miley-cyrus-and-fat-guyLast weekend, I had a troubled mind about a lot of issues and the best way to feel better was to take a long walk. A long walk is a magical exercise for me, it relieves my mind. Hardly had I walked far from my house when I noticed a familiar figure. He was the biggest object on the street. As he moved his big body in a maggot-like manner, he reminded me of the old Micheline commercial on TV. How could someone allow himself to be this fat I imagined. Then I remembered an old classmate who was that fat. As I drew closer, he appeared to be the one but I didn’t want to believe because he was walking hand in hand with a very beautiful damsel I guessed was his wife. To confirm my doubt, my eyes quickly scanned his fingers, he was indeed wearing a wedding band! My God! Who could have married this UGLY guy! We almost collided while I was still wondering why after all these years he still looked the way he looked.

“Haaaaaa Emi…” He hugged me before I could say a word. I was swallowed up in his embrace just like old times. My hands could hardly spread around his sides let alone reaching his back to hug him like I would hug a ‘normal’ human.

“Long time Tom, ten years no see.” I quickly let go as I was beginning to feel intimidated by his size. He made me appear too slim.

“Yes, actually more than ten years. Sorry, meet my wife Loveth. Honey, this is an old classmate, she is Emi, I used to like her a lot but she never…”

“Ok Tom, enough of your introductions. Loveth, I am pleased to meet you.” I took a long stare at her and I couldn’t help what I felt about her. “You are very beautiful Loveth, you could pass for a model.”

“Well, I used to be a model but not anymore. I have started having children.” Her smiles were as beautiful as her looks. We chatted some more and exchanged contacts before we parted. I couldn’t help but starred after them as they walked on. How did it happen? Wasn’t Tom the ugliest human God created? How come he’s married to the most beautiful woman?

Are you thinking what I am thinking? A case of beauty and the beast right? Well, I just simply try to guess what you are thinking I didn’t say so. You see, Tom was a new student brought to our class in S.S 2. He caught the stare of the entire school when he came. He was as fat as the word FAT. He was soooooooo fat that he didn’t use the same seat like the rest of us. His was specially made to suit his big bum. It was such that one would think he was a girl because he had some two seeds growing on his chest. He was called names but he was popularly known as ‘biggy’. We teased him a lot and I remember saying that tailors would have a hard time making his clothes. He was never offended, it was as though he had got used to the teasing.

One day, he wrote me a love letter asking me to be his girlfriend. He sent it through one of his friends who read it before giving it to me. I cried after reading the letter and confided in my friend how the letter made me feel very ugly. I felt I was too beautiful to be Tom’s girlfriend. There was actually another classmate most of the girls felt was the finest boy in the class, we were already friends and were intending to date before Tom came. Having sent me the letter, he started to tell people that I was his girlfriend. I felt bad for days that I didn’t talk much in the class. News went round that I was Biggy’s girlfriend. It made me feel worse. Because of his size and his looks it was as though he was an abnormal human. I stopped talking to him or paying attention to anything about him. He was too ugly to worth my friendship let alone being my boyfriend. I secretly concluded that no woman would ever agree to marry him nor will he have many friends. But there was one thing I could not easily forget about Tom, he had a cheerful spirit and he never admitted that he was as fat as we described him.

When we left secondary school, I was glad to forget everything about him until I met him again recently. Nothing had changed about his looks but he looked happier and I guessed he must be getting the best out of life with such a beautiful wife and a cute baby to compliment.

As I continued my evening stroll, I paused for a minute to ponder on a line I heard some time ago “there’s someone for everybody’. As true as that is, a scripture gained attention in mind, “you are fearfully and wonderfully made…” It made more sense with Tom, the Biggy and ugly classmate.

The truth is, no matter how ugly you think you look or even with the way situation may be for you now, you are someone’s angel and that person will do anything to have you by their side.

A lady I know got married at 36, it had been severally said of her that she was ill mannered and proud. Some people said no man would marry her because of her character, but just last year, a man did take her to the altar!

Whose report will you believe about yourself? If Biggy had listened to our teasing in the secondary school, he would have been suffering from poor self esteem.

Take a look at yourself in the mirror, no one is created like you and no one will ever be like you. You are unique in every way and that is the truth. If you couldn’t achieve something you attempted doesn’t mean you are bad, it’s just that you are trying to gain the experience of how not to do it.

Remember always that you have been WONDERFULLY CRAFTED by your Maker.

*From my archive

What If You Caught Your Spouse In The ACT? 1

unfaithful-man-and-womanSome years ago before my plunge into journalism, I wanted to be a banker not because I studied the course but I knew that those bankers definitely earn more than most journalists. God answered my prayers and I got this bank job where I was first assigned to understudy an accountant. My job was to punch tellers most of the time. Few months later, it became a very boring job for me. There was nothing exciting, just doing same thing and seeing same faces every day. The entire routine just made life uninteresting. Then I decided I would go back to writing, at least I would be fulfilled than living a dull life punching tellers. Just when I made this decision, Akin was transferred to my department. He was young, intelligent, fun to be with and the toast of most of the female staff; married and unmarried. I imagined that his wife must be privileged to be married to him. He made the job more interesting and I looked forward to be given an assignment with him. It kind of broke my heart later when I discovered that he was unfaithful to his wife. I didn’t understand why this made me feel bad, was I also falling for him?

“Does your wife know about Angela?” I said to him one day as we worked on his computer. Angela was his girlfriend and they didn’t even make it a secret even with the fact that she was also married with two children!

“Why do you ask?” he wasn’t expecting the question and so surprise quickly spread on his face. He looked defeated because I knew he also liked me. “…well she is just my girlfriend and my wife doesn’t have to know about her.”

“What if your wife finds out? Or even her husband…” I didn’t want to believe that this fine man and a supposed responsible father didn’t see anything wrong in sleeping with another man’s wife.

“See my dear, Angela and I are in search of one thing we can’t get from our spouses…FULL satisfaction.” I discovered that Angela was just one of his girlfriends.

As if Akin’s wife was prompted, she came to see Akin that day on her way from picking the children from school. Akin wasn’t informed he had a visitor since it was his wife neither did she bother to knock because she had never done so. What her eyes saw her husband doing to Angela was demonstrated in the way she beat Angela and the commotion she caused at the bank. It was a beating Angela would not forget in a hurry.

I imagined myself or any other woman in Akin’s wife’s position, what would another woman do?

“If I walk into my husband in bed with another woman, I wouldn’t do anything but I would want to know why he would be cheating on me. For a man to cheat on his wife something must be wrong somewhere.”- Funmilola

“One can hardly trust any man, so the best thing is for a woman to keep praying for her husband and commit him into the hands of God if not the wife will kill herself with hypertension from worrying over her husband’s infidelity. But if I walk into him, it will be very difficult for me to trust him again; it can even make me look for a boyfriend too.”- Goodness

“All men cheat except that they do it in different styles. It is not until the man sleeps with a woman that makes him do it. Some men can use their eyes to strip a woman naked. I have worked in an office where a particular man is fond of touching ladies’ breasts and buttocks by mistake. Some ladies laughed at it but I found it very disgusting. If I find my husband looking at a woman lustfully, I will tell him at that instance and make him know I will not tolerate it. I wouldn’t wait for him to take the woman to bed, at least I would have noticed some signs that he is seeing someone.”- Chioma

“I believe that men who cheat do so because they do not get all-round satisfaction from their wives. It’s not just about cooking delicious meals and looking good. A woman must also know how to perform her duties very well behind the door. She should do it in such a way that the man will never go to another woman even if he is offered. I do mine well enough and I don’t expect my husband to go out but if happens I will be very disappointed and may even leave the marriage.”- Tare

“Are there still faithful men? Are there still married men who don’t have girlfriends? Even pastors. Anyway, if I find my husband doing that I will pay him back in his own coin! I will just look for one rich handsome guy to be taking care of me. In that way the equation is balanced.”- Cecilia

“It’s only an insensitive woman that would not know when her husband is having an affair because something about the way he used to treat her will change. I have never thought about this and I don’t expect my husband to do that. I will be too heartbroken that I can either kill him or kill myself and I will teach the lady a lesson she will never forget in her life. I can’t stand another woman sharing my husband.”-Mrs. Ade-oye

“For a man to lust after other women could be demonic. The other women could be manipulating him because I don’t see a reason why a man who has pledged his body to his wife will go and give it to another woman. The only thing I will do is pray for him and probably get friends to pray too and talk to him.”-Mrs Peters

“My wife is God-fearing, she can never do that. Infact I won’t even think of that. That is a very wicked act and she loves me too much to be wicked to me.”Festus

 “I do not pray such happens to us, even if she cheats I will prefer not to find out but if I do, that will mean the end of the marriage. It will be a shameful thing to remain married to an adulterer.”Vincent

“I will forgive her and take her back like nothing happened. I had cheated on her before and she found out, got angry, forgave me and showed me love like nothing happened. I will do same for her.”Triumph

My Fiancé Steals*

VectorPortal-Vector-ThiefI do not like to talk about my affair especially making it public like I am about to do but I just need someone to talk back to me and tell me what I need to do at this point.

I don’t want to break our five years relationship and I am afraid to even get married to him. My name is Roseline and my boyfriend is Eke, we have been dating since we were in the secondary school and he has promised to marry me. I have no problem being his wife I have even told him that I will marry him as soon as he’s ready, everyone in my house and his’ knows that we have a serious relationship going for us but my worry is that my boyfriend steals and he tells me that it is the devil. He has promised to stop but he did recently and I am yet to get over it.

When we were in the university, he would ‘cleverly’ take his classmates’ textbooks and clothes of his room mates and sell he would use the money to buy me gifts which I appreciated but I really didn’t see anything wrong with this until we left school and he could not stop stealing. He now gives excuses that it’s the devil and an evil spirit from his village.

Last year June, during my brothers’ birthday party he stole someone’s phone and when they started looking for it I knew it was Eke that stole it. When I confronted him he denied. To avoid the embarrassment of being caught I excused him out of the party and of course no one suspected him. Two days later he sold the phone and I was not happy. He merely apologized to me and promised not to do it again. Some of his friends now know that one cannot leave Eke with any valuable item.

I remember a time he sold my palm top, I forgave him because I know he loved me so much that he could do more. Besides he bought the palm top for me in the first place. As Christmas approached, my elder brother sent a message that he would be coming home from New York , I wasn’t sure if I should be excited to introduce Eke to him as the person I would be marrying but I knew that my brother would ask because he had being wanting to know if I was in any relationship.

My brother arrived and Eke had only spent a night with us when things went amiss. My brother complained the next day that some dollars were missing from the wallet he left on the dining table. My heart skipped. No body steals in my family; I knew it must be Eke.I just ignored it without finding the money or who took it. I told Eke that I knew he was the one that took the money. I was shocked at his response, “how would your brother just go back to America like that, I need the dollars too. I’m sorry I did not tell anybody before I took it. You can apologize on my behalf.” I didn’t just know what to do I thought of confiding in my mother or my younger sister but I was too ashamed to say my boyfriend is a thief. Besides I always talked about him with so much pride.

As if that was not enough, Daddy’s Rolex wristwatch my brother bought for him from America also disappeared. No body takes Daddy’s item and goes free. When Daddy announced that morning that he could not find his wristwatch I quickly called Eke not to sell the wrist watch since he did not deny taking it. When I got to his house he apologized on his kneel, crying and telling me how really sorry he is for taking the wristwatch, he said it was the devil that pushed him and he didn’t know what he was doing until he took it. He told me to pray for him for God to forgive him. I told him that I had already spoken to my pastor to deliver him from the evil spirit. I didn’t know that the evil spirit may take a long time to cast out until I discovered that he had sold the wrist watch even before I called. I left disappointed.

At home, one of my brothers had told Daddy that he suspects Eke and that he knows where Eke goes to sell stolen properties. I was not as fast as Daddy and my brother went out that evening and came back with the wristwatch. Daddy didn’t say anything to me neither did my brother; I was also afraid and ashamed to ask them anything. The next day I learnt that Daddy had arrested Eke; he’s still in detection as I am writing to you. I promised him that I would bail him if he promise and can convince me that he would never steal again but Daddy had threatened that if he ever sees him again coming to visit me that he would shoot him to teach him a bitter lesson. I miss him a lot and I wish he wasn’t in the prison now. I have never loved anyone like him and I don’t know how I would be able to. But I dare not take Dad’s threats lightly. It would even be worse if Dad learns that I bail him. I really don’t know how long he would stay there and they have refused his family bail because Dad is that ‘powerful’. Forgetting him is not even an issue because I still love him.

*Mails from my box