in glorious (1)Iyogho didn’t need anyone to tell her that something was not right. She had noticed her husband’s strange behaviour especially when they talked about church. She had no doubt that her husband loved God and love to serve Him. That was a major reason she agreed to marry him in the first place. Besides the fact that her choice of husband had to be handsome and hardworking, he had to be one who feared God and goes to church regularly. But lately he had been looking more worried than ever. They had even stopped praying together or talking late into the night as they usually did.

All attempts to talk to him and find out what the matter could be had been futile so she prayed for him instead. If things got worse, she planned to go talk to his father. A thought had crossed her mind on what she suspected might be the reason; why he was withdrawn and looked depressed. It could be about the ordination. Ovie had boasted to Iyogho that he was sure he was going to be ordained; with just two days to the ordination rumour had gone round the church members of those that will be ordained on Sunday and no one had mentioned her husband’s name as one of those to be ordained. It was not an issue Iyogho felt should be her husband’s worry. It simply meant that God didn’t want him to be a pastor. At least not yet.

She needed to talk to someone who would make her feel better.

Pastor Ejiro noticed the urgency in Iyogho’s voice as he clutched the receiver to his ear straining to hear her properly. He imagined she may even be crying but didn’t want him to know. Things haven’t been too smooth between her and Tega and he wasn’t sure what it was about. He preferred to be told than him asking. It may just be some family issue that did not require external interference.

“Iyogho, can’t you talk to me about it on phone? Are you okay?” He was truly concerned and she knew it. Iyogho was like his biological sister and he cared so much for her. “I mean if it is this urgent, go ahead and talk to me.” The more he waited for her to speak up the more he was getting impatient.

“Pastor Ejiro, I errrr…”

Most members prefered to call him Pastor Ejiro, he was a very nice man and one who truly feared God. Iyogho guessed he could be about sixty years old, about the same age her father died. The rest of his family lived in Ghana including his mother who is from Warri where he was born.

“Are you okay? What about your husband? Can I…” Pastor Ejiro understood the silence immediately. It was going to be something private and she had company.

“I will talk to you about it tomorrow after the evening service.” She said in a whisper. Ovie had just entered and she didn’t want him to know that she was talking with someone from the Redemption church.

Pastor Mensah refused the money offered him even when Tega promised to increase it to eight hundred thousand naira. Ovie was highly disappointed while Tega consoled him that there can still be a way to get the position. With every tick of the clock, members of the Redemption Church anticipated when the names of the new pastors will be read to the congregation. Members were seen dropping by the noticeboard nearly every hour to check on the latest information on the ordination. Some who Daddy had specifically handpicked had gone ahead to organise aso-ebi for their family members to wear during the evening celebration service.

Iyogho knew nothing about her husband’s extreme ambition to become a pastor until he started behaving strangely and overheard one of his discussions with Tega.

On the Sunday of the ordination, he was late for the service and sat behind the pew where no one noticed he was there. He left before the ceremony was over. He made up his mind to seriously consider the option Tega suggested to him. To start his own church.

Ovie knew that starting a church would not be as easy as Tega put it especially since he did not have a place where the worshippers will gather. That place had to be somewhere far from the Redemption church, a place where he was not known.

That was the issue Iyogho planned to discuss with Pastor Ejiro. Ovie had expressed to her after that Sunday service of how displeased he was for not been ordained. He mentioned that they would stop attending the church because they were going to start attending another church.

Read Part 3 here:

How Fun Is Your Sex Life?

Black-couple-in-bed-II-620x422In some part of my country there is this ignorant saying that “a man should not get used to eating a particular meal.” Meal here is attributed to sex, meaning ‘a man should not get used to sleeping with only his wife! As outrageous as this may be some men adhere to it and even to the knowledge of their wives. Sleeping with his wife ONLY has become a boredom! What a deception!

While in the university I tried talking to a friend, Sam about this issue and I felt he held a wrong view that needed to change. He was engaged to one of the sisters, Jane in the fellowship. Not only were they living togther on campus, he was sleeping with some other girl he had no intention of having any serious relationship with. While I talked with him to stop sleeping with this other girl, I was shocked at his response – “It’s not just her, there are others. I just want to know what it feels like sleeping with other ladies apart from Jane. I am commited to Jane but I do not intend to keep the others. It’s just like a game and I’m winning!” He grinned with mischievious excitement

What! Are the ladies snacks?

I also remember some guy, who was having affairs and was not ashamed of it. When asked why he would be cheating on his lovely wife. He merely said, “She is always too busy to give it to me WHEN I want it.” The emphasis is on ‘when’ because his wife wanted the ‘sex time-table’ to be run according to her desire. I wished I had the opportunity to speak with the wife who spent most of her time outside the country with her mother. Her absense opened the door for him to have affairs. Justified?

Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18 (NLT)

There was also a couple who got separated and later divorced because the husband could not meet up to his wife’s sexual fulfilment. I use to think men crave more for sex until I learnt about this couple. The woman just seemed to want more and was too impatient to help get her husband up to her level. Once she found someone who was her match she started sleeping with him until the marriage collapsed.

Sex is perhaps one of the biggest issues in marriage and the beginning of most challenges in relationships. Sometimes when sex becomes monotonous it can get boring which may cause one partner to seek for new excitement and adventure from someone else. Each sexual experience should be a time when couple should discover something exciting about the act. It may be as little as stroking a finger around the chest or just nuzzling before the main act. Like an artist, discover new ways to present that same act, be creative. Some problems stem from the fact that we think sex is a duty, ‘just go ahead and fulfil so there could be peace in this home.’ If you feel this way, you are not going to enjoy it and you will be pushing your spouse out to ‘locate’ somewhere sex would be given to him/her as fun.

God initiated sex when He instructed Adam to ‘go and multiply.’ Fortunately, He initiated sex in a way that it should be enjoyed if we get creative with it. Sometimes it does not have to be in the room or on the bed. Make use of your guest room or even the sitting room or anywhere else in your home! Your mate is not going to ask ‘why?’ if they are getting as much fun as you are getting. They are many other act you could introduce into your sex-life life to make it something to look forward to. You could read books or ask questions from older and trusted friends but you must understand that they can only suggest because what works for one may not work for the other.

Sometimes, one spouse has a different desire and attitude to sex – one wants more, the other less, one wants it planned, the other wants it at impulse. This is no excuse for the partner who wants more and at impulse to seek the remaining satisfaction from outside. Sexual satisfaction and most activities in marriage is a lot more sacrifice. Every day you keep letting go a little of yourself so you can easily fit in well with your spouse.

Sex is more than just naked bodies lying side-by-side on the bed. It is more than being on cloud nine and not wanting to get down and forget the experience. It is more than just copulation. It is an incorporation of love (care and affection for) and passion (excitement and craze) between two people. In spite of this affection and excitement, with time sex can become uninteresting and lifeless. Dry. And if there is a lack of desire, passion and romance in the relationship it may drive the person to seek it with someone else who would do it differently.

Just as one can be addicted to a hobby, it is also possible to be addicted to sex. This kind of spouse just has some unrestrained appetite to always want to have sex and it is also a reason for people to seek extramarital affairs. To love to have sex is not a sin but to have a desire that only your spouse cannot meet could be dangerous for you and the success of the marriage.

I wish your marriage ultimate excitement!