Valentine may have come and gone but I never forget the memories. I infact wake up almost everyday wishing I didn’t believe in Valentine or have to celebrate special days with my wife. I made one valentine mistake and I am still living with it. No matter how hard I try to make things right, it just doesn’t work so I decided to write this to you.
Usually for Valentine period, I would not only buy gifts for my wife but also my children and some friends at work. I simply loved the feel of that day. I would close early and have dinner out with my wife without the children. That dinner usually remind me of when we were courting. I loved the stories my wife would share. She amazingly keeps all the details of every moment we shared together. Recounting them, we would laugh and tease about everything. Valentine day was usually special until her sister came to live with us briefly.
Adeola is my wife’s older sister. She lived in Ibadan where the rest of the family members are. Three years older than my wife Lola. The women are very close, they infact relate more like friends than sisters. Adeola never really visited our home as I expected instead she called Lola nearly every hour. I guess it is because at almost 40 she is not in any serious relationship. I related with her from a distance but it was nothing bad.
Two years ago in January, Lola informed me that Adeola’s supposed fiance called off their engagement without a reason. Lola claimed Adeola was very traumatised and it would be nice to invite her to live with us for a while. I didn’t have a problem with that and we had enough space to accomodate her. Besides our children are also fond of her.
January 2nd, 2012 on my return from work Adeola was already in our home and settled into one of the guest’s rooms. For the next three days, I didn’t set my eyes on her; she would either still be sleeping while I leave for the office or just retiring to bed on my return. Lola and I decided to help her get out of the hurting mood. We took her to our favourite spot on the Island to eat roasted fish. The next day we went again to Waterfront just to watch the water. By our third outing, I noticed that Adeola was loosing up. She talked and laughed freely and I was glad we could be of help.
In three weeks, Adeola transformed from the hurting to a cheerful and beautiful woman. She cared for our home, children and did everything like she is my wife! At first I didn’t bother since I saw her like a sister. Then she got a job and told us she didn’t want to go back to Ibadan. According to her, a new life in Lagos would be the best.
Somehow, I grew fond of Adeola to the knowledge of my wife who even teases me about it. She calls her “your second wife”. True to my wife’s words, there was a growing bond between Adeola and I. I knew it was not right so I set the boundaries and stopped some of the things I used to do with her or for her but I could not tell my wife about it. I would find myself missing her or thinking about a hug we shared or just longing to be with her. I severally resisted the temptation to ask her out for lunch. I compared her on several occassion with her sister, my wife. Although I concluded that my wife is a wonderful person, I imagined what it would have been like marrying Adeola. She is more homely and smarter than my wife. And prettier I think.
I began to look for ways to be in her company even at home. There were also indication that Adeola knew my struggles but was waiting for me to come open. Then came Valentine! In my excitement I told my wife what she thought if I bought Adeola a gift too. She approved the idea and encouraged me to get something really nice. I shopped at a lingerie shop at Allen. I had seen these beautiful pairs a week before and they were still available. They were lace red, my wife’s favourite colors. I bought two same pairs, two same perfumes, two same silver earrings and two boxes of chocolates. Yes and was given petals for free at the shop.
To create the surprise, I sprinkled the petals on our bed and allowed the wrapped gifts stay at a corner. I did exactly same for the sister. I even took pictures of the two bedroom and uploaded straight away to Facebook.
This was were trouble started as my wife found everything wrong with what I have done and called me a “useless cheat”. She said Adeola is an ingrate and a betrayal. She started asking how long have I been sleeping with her sister and what else have we done that she didn’t know. I tried explaining but she won’t listen. We all went to bed in tears that night.
Before dawn, Adeola was gone and could not be reached on phone. My wife left for the office and never spoke again of the inccident. I live with this guilt and confusion, things are not the way they use to be. I love my wife but we are not friends anymore. I desired her sister but I wish my wife would believe me when I tell her I never slept with her. I do not know where Adeola is and I cannot ask my wife because she still believes I am seeing her. I really want to have a good marriage and I need more cooperation from my wife. Now she calls me names at the slightest provocation and says “you can go sleep with your girlfriend if you like.” Worse of all I do not want my children to believe a lie about me.
This is a contribution from one of our readers.