How OPEN Are You To Your Partner?

Couple hugging on a couch --- Image by © Big Cheese Photo/CorbisTo love and be loved in return is a great fulfilment in any relationship, especially when it has to do with that special someone. Naturally, one wants to progress to the next level in this kind of relationship because you are ‘crazy’ about someone you believe to also be crazy about you. However, knowing for sure if he or she is right can be very difficult. You should ask yourself how are you sure you will not feel differently about the person months after making the decision.  To spend the rest of your life with that person.

The truth is, deciding to committ to someone the rest of your life is deeply an important, spiritual and personal determination, and everyone has different criteria for their choice. You do not want to make a wrong choice about the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with, choose carefully.

Is he or she just having fun with your emotion? Here are some tips that would help you in assessing if your partner is ready to go all the way with you. Your partner may not exhibit all the signs but showing most of them is a prove that your relationship maybe heading somewhere positive. Make it work.

  1. OPEN UP

You can tell him/her things you don’t tell anyone else.

A person you can tell any or everything is a confidant; trustworthy person and it is not easily come by especially in a romatic relationship. Someone who you may have told the terrible experiences in the past or a present struggle and still want to be friends with you.

Most times, some people are afraid to open up to their partner on their ugly past even when they get committed because of fear of losing them. The truth however is, when you find someone who truly loves you and ready to go all the way with you – marriage, such a person will see your past as PAST and will even help you deal with it if need be. So when you find yourself telling your opposite sex friend details about your life that you would not naturally discuss with anyone, it is a sign that the friendship is moving from being just platonic to something more serious.

“Kemi, you must be crazy! How could you tell him… .” Tito couldn’t hide her surprise. She bit hard the bottom of her lips and cursed Kemi in her heart.

“Calm down Tito. I know Jide loves me just as much as I love him. I don’t want to hide anything from him. It is as though he sees my heart. Besides he pitied me and even shared some of his secrets with me too.” Although Kemi had lost good relationship in the past when she talked about her past but Jide was different. He showed no sign of disappointment when Kemi told him about her past, instead he was urged her to become a better person.

Jide and Kemi had been dating for nearly a year, although he has not asked her to marry him, Kemi was free and open with Jide than she had ever been in her past relationships. It was not that she intended to share her secrets with Jide but it usually comes when in the course of their intimate discussions. She felt safe discussing anything with him.

“At least you shouldn’t have told him yet that you were raped at 14, got pregnant and aborted it. What if he stops loving you? What if he dumps you for someone else? That is an information you shouldn’t even tell your husband until you are 10 years in marriage!” Tito was angry, she felt Kemi was letting Jide know too much.

“But I told you. I share my secrets with you and you have never betrayed me.”

“That’s because i’m your best friend since kindergarten and we know everything about each other. Jide we barely know him!” Tito’s eyes sparkled with anger.

“Tito I understand and appreciate your concern for me, but Jide…” Kemi was sure of what she felt for Jide. Safe. Pure love.

“Exactly my point, your last relationship broke up when you told Tony you once aborted a pregnancy. Now you did not only tell him about the pregnancy but the fact that the pregnancy came from a rape experience.” As far as Tito was concerned, this was the greatest mistake any reasonable young lady could make.

“Tito please stop! Jide is my boyfriend and it is about my relationship. Let me run it the way it pleases me. If Jide decides to leave me because I opened up to him, then he is not man enough for me!” She stormed out of the room and slammed the door hard enough to end the disccusion.

 Jide has been everything she desires in a man and she felt no fear or restrain as they sat that day at the park discussing intimate details about their lives. Although Tito is more like a sister than a friend, this time she was sure that Tito was wrong, she wouldn’t regret sharing with Jide even if the relationship does not work.

Trust is an important ingredient of a healthy relationship. Letting your partner into intimate details of your life especially when the relationship has blossomed for sometime is a sign that you trust them and that you expect them to love and respect you irrespective of what they know about you.

Culled from Ready to Tangle? How To Know if Your Relationship Is Making A Head Way  by Emike Oyemade

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