Last year, I was invited to speak at a singles summit themed, “Getting It Right”. Since I was not given any specific topic I decided that it would be nice to talk about setting boundaries in relationships especially with the opposite sex. During my discussion, I strongly disapproved of co-habiting or getting pregnant out of wedlock.
While I was talking, I knew they didn’t like what I was saying since I didn’t get applauds and nods like the other speakers. No body asked me questions or directed a question at me during the Q&A time. I just sat there wondering, “O God what have I said that I shouldn’t have said? Why do their faces now look like they hate me?” I became eager to know what went wrong and I thought that if someone would walk up to me and say, “that was a beautiful presentation”, I would be healed.
As the organizers saw me off to the elevator, I could no longer resist it so I asked.”Well… I guess you spoke what you where led to but I think you were being too harsh on people leaving together before marriage. Pregnancy is not a bad thing even if the couple are unmarried.” The leader said.
My shoulder dropped. I was broken to pieces. I flopped the message.
My confidence was totally destroyed and it brought out all my insecurities. I wondered if I was doing the right thing.
I thought about it the rest of the day. That night I replayed in my head what I shared and the response of the leader and I discovered that I didn’t have a good understanding of the word of God. As such, I was concerned about men’s approval rather than saying what God wanted me to say. I knew God had called and anointed me to say the things I say but I was still checking whether people would believe me or not. I was rejected and this affected me alot, in spite of how I anointed I was! I lacked confidence.
I had to grow in confidence to a level where people’s opinion and their acceptance or rejection no longer affect my confidence level. I have since then shared several similar of such presentations with confidence that is what God wants me to say. Not what the people want.
It is easier to remain confident when we see people nodding or smiling in approval. It is easier when we can see or measure progress but what about when non of these happens? Do you back off? Or stick with the conviction with which you started?
Resist that pressure to back off because people, even family members are not applauding yet. Don’t waste precious time checking out who liked your idea or not. Just keep moving and don’t let your confidence be altered.