Want Your Ex Back?

black-couple-break-upYes? No?

So you really want your ex back? Why did you break up in the first place?

Sometimes we think we are making the best decision when we break up with the one we thought we may never live without. There are many who lose out of a good relationship because they bowed out for an issue they could have amicably handled.

Yes. Most of us have experienced it that way. Break a relationship, walk away thinking you did the right thing, then later regret and wishing to turn back the hand of time. Too many are quick to crush a good relationship at the slightest mistake. While some enjoy the petting and the begging after a break up, others think the relationship gets better after a fight. How true?

Let me share some tips that MAY help you and your ex get back together but I cannot guarantee that these would work 100% especially if your ex had tried reaching out to you and you refused or if he/she is now in a new relationship with someone they consider better than you.

1. Avoid the Self-Pitying
Ending a relationship with someone you thought you were in love with and possibly spend the rest of your life with could be devastating and this often leads to self-pity. We analyze everything the person did wrong, we begin to fault ourselves and wishing we had behaved differently to salvage the relationship. The truth is there is actually no reason why you should feel sorry for what happened or the decision you made to quit the relationship. You probably acted on the spur of the moment. It could happen to anyone. Besides, it’s not like it is not the end of the world, since there are still suggestions that could help win an ex back or get into a better relationship. So stay calm, take a deep breath and go on with your life.

2. No forcing it. Try but Do Not Insist
If you want reconciliation, don’t do it when you are hurting, you will make it worse on the both of you and loose the chance of ever coming together again. If you think you can now talk to your ex about possible reconciliation, then do so. However, know your limitations and do not appear like you are so desperate or like there is no life without them. It is definitely okay to express your feelings towards your partner by letting him/her know how much you still love him and how much they mean to you. Do not cry and beg/force for him/her to come back into your life, you will not get the best out of them by so doing.

3. Be Real and Talk Things Out
Make an effort to talk things out. This is best done physically as you might not get the desirable result through phone or email. Yes, you can call or mail to get an appointment to meet. It may not be ideal to make it a surprise visit and if he/she will not entertain you, move on. Be real, honest and straight to the point especially as regards your feelings and your willingness to make the relationship work. You are only taking a chance so don’t be afraid to talk about your plans of possible reconciliation but make sure that you are prepared to hear whatever he/she is going to tell you. If your ex no longer wants to have you back in his/her life, then it’s time to move on and accept the fact that you can no longer be together with each other.

4. Change for the Better
Whether you become successful and win back your ex or not, your next step is to do improvements in yourself. If you think that there are a lot of things that you need to do in order to improve yourself, then now is the right time to do such things. Consider your breakup as a learning experience and a way for you to change for the better and become more mature.

If you are seriously thinking of getting your ex back after a breakup, make sure that you are also ready to face whatever the consequences of your actions are. There is nothing wrong in making the first move on winning your ex back, but know your limitations and know when to stop. Remember that you should not be chasing your ex all your life just because you regret your decision of leaving him/her. As much as possible, maintain your dignity as a woman and learn to let go when necessary.

This article has been modified.

Photo source: http://theprayingwoman.com/

2 thoughts on “Want Your Ex Back?

  1. Kudos for the tips, Emeka. You are an gem.

    Many break up and later want to make up. And many have done this pretty successfully, but not everyone is “many”(i wish we could realize that). If “they” have done it, good for “them”. But “they” and “you” are two disparate pronoun. I hope you forgive my emphasis on self-esteem and independence, but in our age of dibilitating self-appreciation, it’s more than worth it.
    Don’t break up, peers because someone who has, gave you his indispensable advice to do so. I’d bet my bottom dollar that when it comes back to hit you right in the face, you realize his/her advice wasn’t indispensable after all.
    But the problem most times is we realize it too late.

    Anger don’t think. But patience does.

    Be well!

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