Sexual Abuse is…
- When someone (usually older or more powerful) forces or deceives you to sexually satisfy him/her. It is usually something you don’t want to do and not ready to do.
- When someone forces you to look at other people having sex or watch them touch their private areas.
- When someone older than you makes you have sex with them. This person can be anybody from a family member/relatives, to a neighbor, a teacher, a schoolmate etc.
- When someone forces you to watch or look at pictures or videos of people having sex.
- When someone uses force or a trick to look at you without your clothes on. Or you look at them without their clothes on.
- When you are being touched (especially in your private areas) in a way you do not like or want.
- When someone deceives you to take pictures of you without clothes on.
Where Can Sexual Abuse Take Place?
Sexual abusers (those who take advantage of innocent people sexually) like to take or meet the victim (those they want to abuse) in quiet, lonely or dark places. In places where no one will suspect what is going on or where the victim’s voice will not be heard when they call for help.
- A classroom/staff-room/office, when everyone has gone home after school.
- A lonely (or dark) road/street or bush path.
- A quiet house/room/compound when you are alone.
- An office where you are alone with the abuser.
- Church/mosque/other quiet religious places
- In a car where the abuser is the driver taking you to school everyday or occasionally.
LIES ABOUT SEXUAL ABUSE
- “You will die if you tell anyone”. This is a lie, the abuser wants to use the lie to continue abusing you.
- “I will beat you if you tell anyone”. This is a threat because the abuser doesn’t want anyone to know you are being abused
- “You are a bad girl/boy”. This is the voice of the devil (a bad voice from within you) trying to condemn you.
- “God hates you for what happened to you.” This is also a bad voice from within you that you must not listen to. God loves you and can make you a better person.
- “I will give you gifts and lots of money if you let me touch you or have sex with you.” Your body is too precious to allow anyone abuse you because of money and gifts.
- “Everyone will know about it and will make fun of you.” This is a wrong voice in your head. Do not listen to this. Everyone will not know if you do not tell them.
- “My friends will hate me and will not want to be friends with me anymore.” This is your own voice. If you do not tell your friends they will not know and a true friend will know bad things about you and will not use it against you.
“You can never be a whole and happy person.” The devil is full of lies that you must not allow have a place in your heart. God has healed you, He has made you whole and He desires that you be a very happy person
Excerpt from my book AVOIDING AND OVERCOMING SEXUAL ABUSE (FOR PRE-TEEN AND YOUNG ADULT).
If were sexually abused and still hurting I will be here to hold hands with you through the healing process.