THIRTY SOMETHING, SINGLE AND WAITING FOR THE RIGHT ONE

“I am 30+ and I have not been in any serious relationship for the past six years since I graduated. My first and last real date was as an undergraduate. I considered myself pretty and hardworking but I am really getting worried ?????????????????????????????????about marrying late. I have also been praying about this but I sometimes get worried.” 

“I have a good job. I am 33 going on 34 and strikingly handsome. I am romantic in every word of it. I love the Lord. I want to have kids but finding a woman is difficult.I have a feeling that they either want me for my looks or for my money. I want someone to build a future with.”

Waiting generally could be frustrating. Waiting for the right person to begin a marital relationship may even be worse especially when you feel that age is no longer your friend. Or your mom keeps reminding you SHE’s getting old. Amongst your friends, schoolmates and siblings you are the only unmarried person and you consider yourself more ‘privileged’ and ready for marriage than them all, yet you can’t understand why you haven’t met the right one or why the ones you met didn’t turn out to be a lasting relationship. And all you see is what is WRONG! You could become worried and desperate. A not-good place to be

I have been there. You try and try. You just can’t force it to happen. Well, you can but it won’t be right. So you just still have to WAIT! From experience I have come across single mothers and heartbroken women who wished they had been a little more patient. I have also met guys who wished they had considered their decision more seriously than basing it on age. It is better to have a happy old life than to have many children with a ‘wrong’ partner and unhappy old age.

God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks.                                                                            Lamentation 3:25

There are many verses in the bible that speaks about the ‘benefits’ of waiting for the right one. So you are not JUST waiting but aligning your choice with the approval of God’s. There are many ‘marriageable’ partners but you know that in spite of how OLD you are you cannot just make a choice out of the will and purpose of God for your life. Being over thirty or more and single is not as bad. It’s not a curse. You can still have as much fun or more whether you are in a relationship or not. Besides you cannot make a good partner if you have not found fulfilment as a single. There are many unhappy people ‘trapped’ in marriages they wished they had not gone into.

Just because you are pretty, hardworking or whatever qualities you may have does not automatically mean that men will run after you or that you should grab the available man. It’s going to be a life-time partnership and hoping that he will make you his partner because of your looks should be far from it. Looks may change. And you could get lazy when you get pregnant or sick. Having a good job and attractive looks are also great attributes and necessary to have a happy relationship but it is still not enough to begin a relationship. You have to do it because you are ready and because you have found someone who is ready to go all the way with you whether those attributes are there or not.

Remember Jeremiah 29:11, the bible states clearly that God has a good plan for your life and a marital delay is not something God cannot fix. I am not only telling you that God will give you a partner you deserve but I am also saying THAT YOU CAN STILL HAVE A GOOD LIFE WHILE YOU A WAITING.

Shalom!

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