It is impossible to know if someone is addicted to masturbation by merely looking at them or talking to them. Not even a doctor can tell if someone masturbates except if it has irritated the penis or vaginal area to become sore. Sometimes a child/teen can be addicted for years without his/her parents or those living with them knowing. However, with careful observation and sincere expression of love you may notice some of the following;
- Stay unusually longer in bed in the morning; either to masturbate or calm an erection
- Craves privacy. Always wanting to be left alone especially behind locked door. Or staying up late waiting for everyone to go to sleep.
- Prolonged baths and use of the rest room. Most teens use the rest room where they will be least suspected.
- Be unusually curious with browsing the internet for porn sites especially on phones and other devices that maybe personal and private e.g laptop and other mobile devices.
- Be intrigued by sexual scenes on movies and musical videos.
- Sored private areas (bruised genitals) as a result of constant rubbing.
- Wet bedsheets especially in the morning.
Avoiding/Controlling Addiction Masturbation Tendencies
There are really no sure ways to guarantee that children in their inquisitive nature will not try to look at nude pictures, admire their genitals or even try out their ‘functionality’ at some point in their young life. As a parent/counselor/teacher we have a big role to play in helping our young people avoid and overcome addition to masturbation. Here are few suggestions on what you could do
- Pray for the child. Just like you can be over-come by a temptation, same it is for them and they cannot do it on their own without the help of God.
- Befriend the child. Children sometimes want to be understood. They want you to understand that they have same urge as Do not shut them out
- If your suspicions are confirmed, confront in love. Most teenagers will never admit to masturbation unless they are caught in the act.
- EXPLAIN and TEACH them WHY and HOW what they are doing is wrong. You are likely to increase their curiousity if all you do is leave instructions not to do it or punish them if you find out they are doing it.
- Do not allow late night browsing or encourage romantic movies even when on holidays and especially when the child is alone.
- Once the child has open up and tells you about his/her struggles with the addiction, put your anger to a side and focus on helping. It is alright to express disappointment, infact you should but never show how angry you are alone and leave them to find solution by themselves.
- Do not try to make a blame or any of his/her friends he/she picked it from. Sometimes especially with boys, they do not need a friend to talk them into it. However, it is advisable that you find out if he/she has friends who also masturbates, those friends may hinder him/her from overcoming it totally.
- Lovingly emphasize how they can escape if the temptation shows up again
Random Questions From Some Teens
I do not touch my genitals but I sometimes wake up with semen in my pant. Did I have sex in the dream?
Sometimes it could be a wet-dream; An erotic (to give sexual pleasure) dream (usually at night) accompanied by the emission of semen. This happens when you fantasized about a girl before you slept off. When you keep fantasizing you can get aroused and tempted even without touching yourself. Remove immoral thougths from your mind and replace them with clean ones.
My sister is 14 and I am 12. She masturbates and tells me it is fun. She has encouraged me to do it too but I am scared of loosing my virginity.
Masturbation is not a good habit and both of you are too young to even understand what sexual activity is fun. I will suggest that you do not listen to your sister and let her know that you will report to your parents if she does not stop. There are better things both of you could use your time to do than sexual explorations. Preserve your virginity for the right one and when the time is right.
I am 13. I started masturbating around 11years. I do it mostly in the morning and in the bathroom. I am scared of talking to my parents about it but I would love to.
Yes, you should summon a brave heart and talk to mum or dad about it. If you are freer with your mum or an older sibling, you can also talk to them. You are NOT a bad person, you are only being tempted and anyone can be tempted and fall for it. Your parents love you enough to understand that you need their help to become a better person. You should also read all my suggestions on How To Avoid Addiction To Masturbation and How To Overcome Addiction To Masturbation.
Culled from my book, AVOIDING AND OVERCOMING SEXUAL ABUSE FOR YOUNG ADULTS
To reach me for prayer, counseling or just to vent email firstname.lastname@example.org