Disappointment happens and sometimes no matter how hard we try to avoid it, we just can’t. We however have the choice to remain disappointed, learn a lesson from the experience and move on with life. It’s not this easy when it’s a failed relationship especially if you thought it was going to lead to something more serious like getting married. So now it did not end as expected!
That’s life; sometimes things do not go the way we want them to especially if other people are involved. You can’t control or force them; only their full corporation can make it a happy relationship. Some people find it easy moving on after a failed relationship, others don’t but the truth is, the earlier you are able to accept the reality that the relationship has no hope of working the better it is for you to move on. Here are some signs that you may still not be over your ex and not ready for a new relationship.
- Crying often. It’s ok to cry because you are hurt but don’t do it like your life cannot be better except with that person. This is almost more like ‘mourning’, a part of you is gone and you cannot seem to control the shock and emptiness the break up has brought on you. Get used to it. Crying doesn’t do any good. Instead it could make you sick, depress. Dry those tears and get on with life.
- You are still hoping he/she will have a change of heart and come back for you. Even with the knowledge that he/she is seeing someone else you are still ‘believing’ your relationship will be reconciled.
- You are stalking. You keep checking his/her Facebook status to see if they are involved with someone else and what latest information they might update about their new relationship status. You even ask questions from friends that knew you both together; you are not even sure why you are doing so.
- You are monitoring. Every new updated photo, you read the comments and take notes of the details especially if it’s a group pix and how he was holding or leaning on another female. When you see a face you don’t know you begin to assume it must be the new partner.
- You are struggling with letting go even though you know it’s a ‘dead end’ but you can’t stand the loneliness. As a result you are hoping that a ‘miracle’ would happen for you to return together again. You even attempted sending “I miss you” text but decided against it.
- It is impossible to delete his/her text messages especially the ones with ‘sweet nothings’ and those reaffirming your love for each other. You keep reading hoping to get new ones for a reunion.
- You are practicing ‘escapism’; avoiding everything and anything that would make you come in direct contact with your ex. You prefer to leave the job than work in same office with him because you may lose concentration if he/she comes close or you can’t stand him/her dating someone else to your knowledge.
- Faking disconnection. You deleted him from your social media networks and cut off some people who are friends with you both but now you are wishing you didn’t take that decision and hoping she will be the first to add you back on Facebook.
- It’s almost a year and you are not involved in anyone because both of you had sex for the first time and you believe that the relationship is your one and only true love. It’s your first love and no one else can love you more.
- There’s a potential partner lurking around you but you are comparing the qualities of your ex with the potential partner especially when you think they were great and would have loved to spend the rest of your life with him/her. You may not be interested if the potential partner does not match the qualities of your ex.
- You suddenly become an introvert; keeping more to yourself. Being alone and watching movies become a newly discovered hobby. You don’t want to go out and have fun because you don’t want to do anything or go to places that will remind you of him/her.
- You have a secret treasured item belonging to your ex. You have done away with every other thing except that item and it brings fond memories that make you wish you are still together. Wake up to reality! You are not together anymore! Do away with every reminder of hurt and get on to the next stage.
- Friendship by extension. You have become nicer to his/her friends, your intension is just to maintain platonic friendship while you are getting over the hurt.
- You become terribly upset when he/she gets into a new relationship and you are hoping the new relationship will not work too.
15.It’s affecting your relationship with God as most of the time you would have used praising God you are crying to Him and asking Him to reconcile the relationship.
- You haven’t been going to church because you are in same church and what he/she did is not expected of a Christian. Did you breakup with your partner or with God?
LET IT GO! If it’s past, treat it as past. You can’t have a grip of the future still holding onto the past.
Sometimes God delivers us from the wrong relationship so He can give us what we really deserve. Don’t keep holding on tightly to what God is doing away with. You may miss the REAL thing.