Couple hugging on a couch --- Image by © Big Cheese Photo/Corbis

We often expect to get the best from people even when we may not have same to offer or willing to offer if we have. When we think about the one we want to spend the rest of our lives with, we often have a picture of a ‘perfect’ person. A flawless entity. All we see is the fun times we are going to have and the ‘happily ever after’ dream life; but the truth is, it’s not going to be always that fun. It’s not going to be all that rosy. There will be ‘dark’ days, days without laughter and fun; these even serve as test of whether there would be more fun in the relationship or not. So when considering someone for a life time commitment, it shouldn’t just be for how he/she looks. Some things are not just solid enough to sustain stormy times in a relationship. A pretty and handsome may not help much when reality sets in.

So before you desire certain traits in someone, you have to also have something to offer. I have compiled questions (tips) that can help you attract a good choice.

  1. Are you the right kind of person? Are you friendly? Being friendly is about being nice and kind. It is about offering support before you are asked. It is about giving pleasantries and commendation. Or are you that kind of person that never says ‘hello’ or smile back when being waved at. Nobody wants to associate with someone who is always looking like they have the biggest problem on earth. If you stay aloof when someone needs your help or support when you are in a position to do it, is a sign that you are not friendly and people are going to avoid you including a potential partner who may have been building interest. Life is more fun when you can get a little friendly. No man can be by themselves and get on with a good life.
  2. Are you fun and jovial? Are you a cheerful-happy person? Some people claim to wake up some days on the wrong side of their bed and so they carry on with a ‘bad-day’ mentality and sometimes hurting others. It’s just not fair! You are not going to attractive your desire partner being all so serious. Even if you do get that partner, when fun is removed from a relationship it becomes boring. Most women for instance, like men who make them laugh. A man who can keep a smile on a woman’s face is likely to win her heart
  3. Are you out-going? It’s ok to be an introvert, stay at home and have “watching movies and playing indoor games” as your hobbies but you will need to socialize sometime. Spend some time outside your home to mingle. After all, you don’t meet new people in your house except if you are having an event in your house with invited guess.
  4. Do you have respect for the opposite sex? Respect is a major ingredient in a relationship. There can’t be true love without respect. Without respect you are going to take your partner for granted and if you are anticipating respect from your partner then you will have to give it first. If as a lady you don’t have respect for a man because of your past experience, be patient to deal with that experience first. If as a man, you don’t regard woman because of the way your mother treated your father, don’t get into a relationship that way, you can ruin a good relationship with that mentality.
  5. Are you holding onto past ugly experiences? We all get hurt at some point in our lives and sometimes by those we do not expect it from; those we love and trust. Unfortunately also, some people get more hurts than other and stay hurt longer than others but you will have to let it go. Forgive and move on. Holding unto some ugly past experience is just going to deprive you of a beautiful relationship because you are going to be anticipating the same thing.
  6. Are you making unhealthy comparism? So your EX was great in every way? Well, you are no longer together so just trash using his/her ‘greatness’ as a standard for prospects. Everyone is unique in their own way and you should appreciate the uniqueness of whoever you decide for eventually. Burn the picture of your ex in your head and go for something new and different.
  7. Do you earn? MONEY! It’s a big issue in most relationships if not all, for others the lack or ‘smallness’ of it is the end of the relationship. It is true that you shouldn’t be in a relationship for money sake but MONEY makes the relationship more fun. Don’t make any serious commitment without having a source of income no matter how small for a start.
  8. Are you attractive? Attractiveness most of the time has to do with looks. It’s about looking good; it’s about directing attention to yourself just by the way you look and has nothing to do with putting on expensive apparel. Your facial expression, your gestures, your body movement all add together to make you attractive. If you are desiring an attractive partner be conscious too that you need to such.
  9. ‘Baff up’! This is a slang used to mean “to be extremely mindful of the way you dress. If you dress ‘street’ you will attract same. If a lady is baring most part of her body in bid to attract someone, she may succeed in getting a man but for sexual satisfaction only. The way you dress matter looks especially your clothes. You don’t need a wardrobe full of clothes you just need to know how to treat with care the ones you already have.
  10. Have a genuine relationship with God. Everyone wants a god-fearing partner. Even those who do not have a relationship with God want someone who does. It is believed that a ‘god-fearing’ partner is a guaranty to a beautiful relationship. While this may be true to some extent, it’s not that easy knowing someone who fears God just by looking at their faces.


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