Babe, you are having a very beautiful relationship except that every now and then some little misunderstanding creeps in that spoils the fun. This ushers in your prolong ‘silent punishment’, you are not breaking the relationship but you just want to ‘show’ him how to treat a woman. Ok, here is what happens when you give him the mood-swings or that ‘silent punishment’.
- You make him guess or assume things about you. Assumption is very unhealthy for your relationship because he may conclude at something that is not right or true.
- You make him doubt his choice. If he choose you means he could have equally chosen someone else. No man wants to be hit with the reality that he made a mistake choosing his woman. It kills his ego and the trust in his ability to make a good choice.
- You force him into comparing you with his past relationship especially if that past relationship ended with no fault of his and if his ex was a great lady. You also make him compare you with his mum, sisters or other female friends he thinks are model of great women
- Makes him believe you are selfish, it shows to him that you do not care about his feelings or how you are hurting him with your mood swings.
- Gives him the impression that the relationship make not work since you prefer the silent and mood swings options to settle issues. Relationship is communication, you hear him, and he hears you. You DISCUSS and no one wins, the arguments strengthen your relationship and give you the opportunity to understand each other better.
- You make him worried and sick. You don’t expect him to be happy and excited when you are ‘punishing’ him for something that maybe trivial. He will feel worse than you because he does not know what maybe going on in your mind or the reasons for the mood swings.
- You may cause him to regret the relationship. He thought you were a great person and decided to start a relationship with you. You need to respect that or you may make him wish he didn’t approach you in the first place.
- You may make him think you don’t care. When you get into mood swings, you are not going to be thinking nice about him, at this moment your thoughts about him is void of affection and it’s going to show in your attitude.
- You may make him think twice about making a serious commitment with you especially if you thought the relationship could lead to married. No man wants to marry a woman who would be happy only when she wants irrespective of who is hurt.
- You make him predict you into something not-so-good. If he knows it’s your style to get into mood swings at the slightest offence, he would not be surprise the next time you get into the mood. And when something serious that should make him show concern happens he may not know because he would conclude it’s the usual.
Here’s what you could do…
- If you are upset about something talk about it. Don’t give an attitude or expect him to understand. Sometimes someone offends you and they don’t even know it.
- Don’t carry over your anger. Deal with it at that moment.
- Be careful with your choice of words when you argue. Ill-spoken words last longer than the cause of the argument itself.
- Give him an opportunity to explain if he wants to. You make him worse if you shut him off
- Be reasonable. Put yourself in his shoes. He could be the one behaving like you too.
- When he does something you don’t like whether you expect him to know or not, don’t just say “I am fine…” when your countenance says something else. If you are not ready to talk about it just say, “We will talk about it later.”
- Once the issue is trashed, get out of that mood and be yourself again. There are bound to be misunderstandings in a relationship. The longer you remain in that mood, the more you destroy the excitement in your relationship.
- Don’t use “silence punishment’ to discipline him. Silence destroy your relationship, many good things could happen while you are ignoring each other.
- Accept apology and don’t go over the situation again. You must also learn to give apology too.
- Accept when you are wrong and don’t use moody-ness to escape accepting corrections or giving apology.