- Lack Of Trust For Each Other
Trust is a major ingredient in any relationship. You cannot really love as expected in a romantic relationship if you do not trust your partner. If you believe they can lie to you in anyway, you may find it difficult to believe when he or she tells you “I love you.” Even when you remain in a relationship believing that you love the person irrespective of your inability to trust, it is only a matter of time, you will wish you had dealt with the trust issues from the onset. Sometimes, a partner’s inability to trust may be as a result of his or her own experience in past relationships. If your partner cannot trust you, he or she cannot love you.
- Your Partner Is A Serial Cheat
There’s nothing as heart breaking as a partner who cannot be faithful to the one they claim to love. It’s a different thing if you find out that your partner is flirting on social media and you decide to forgive instead of quitting. But you should really consider quitting if your partner is having other relationships and you are just a number. Like I always say everyone deserves to be someone’s treasure and not just treated like you have no value.
- You Feel Caged With The Relationship
Caged relationship is one in which you feel trapped. It deprived you of being who you really should and want to be. You are someone else because you are doing everything to please or partner and to save the relationship. You can never be happy being in a relationship in which you are not free to be you. The fun of a healthy relationship is that it brings out the best in you while appreciating your uniqueness. If you are often afraid of offending your partner because you are afraid of their reaction then you are in a wrong relationship. “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18. In a caged relationship you cannot be free to make or keep your own friends except those which your partner approves of. You can’t take or act on any decision on your own. It is ok to have same friends as couple but there would have been some valuable friends in your life long before that relationship came into existence. Your relationship should not deprive you of your good old friends, you will still need them.
- The Relationship Is All About Sex
Sex is a beautiful expression of love and intimacy created by God to be enjoyed in MARRIAGE, it should not be an issue when you are not married. However, if you find yourself in a relationship where your partner is all about sex, then it is time to quit. The truth is, even in marriage you will discover that sex is not an everyday affair. It is a beautiful gift reserved for marriage; it is not a sign that your partner loves you and not a guarantee to seal the relationship
It’s called a relationship because two people who are expected to make fair contributions and sacrifices on every aspect are involved. Even when you are in a relationship with someone who has no job does not mean that you and your money should be taken advantage of. If you are in a relationship where your partner is in control of YOUR money and your bank details then you need to consider if you are doing what is right for you and your future. A relationship is a lot more fun when two of you can pull finances together to meet the needs and projects of the relationship.
- Your Partner Calls You Name
Name-calling is a serious verbal abuse, don’t take it lightly. How do you love someone you calls you, “idiot”, “fool”, “bitch”, “Ugly”…the list is endless. It is bullying and it makes you appear less of who are. When you accept whatever names your partner calls you, that is what you become to him or her. It is a different case if it is done out of anger and APOLOGY AND GENUINE REPENTANCE FOLLOWS IMMEDIATELY. When you remain in a name calling relationship, it’s just a matter of time and you will do same because you will no longer see anything wrong in name calling. This also opens the door for physical abuse.
- You Feel You Are Not Loved Or Respected As Expected
Being treated by your partner like the most important person on earth is the best feeling you should get in your relationship. That is what romantic love is mostly about; that you are important, that you are always thought of and considered first, that you are treasured, that you and your uniqueness is respected and appreciated. If this is lacking, don’t even give it a second thought before you take the exit door. You deserve better. The lack of this will mean you being taken for granted and your partner may believe he or she is doing you a favor for remaining in a relationship with you.
- You Are Not Sure If You Are “In Love”
The feeling of being in love cannot all be explained in words alone. Being “in love” is an experience. This is what makes you want to give the relationship your best to make it work. Every day you are energized with new ideas on how to express love to your partner and ideas to spice and strengthen the relationship. Once you lack the enthusiasm to do this because you have doubts about the person or the relationship itself then do not waste time in considering quitting. Are you in the relationship because you are lonely or because you feel age is no longer on your side? Life is too short to be in a relationship with someone who makes your life miserable, there’s never a good enough reason to be in a bad relationship.
Although there are other many abuses someone could experience in a relationship but physical abuse is the most dangerous. Many people have been maim or died from physical abuse. If you have a partner who when he or she is angry hits or slaps you, pushes you to the wall or make a punching fist at you or any other physical abuse signs, then you are in a dangerous relationship with potentials that can become worse as you get committed. In my years of counseling, I never encourage anyone to remain in an abusive relationship even when the abuser is claiming to repent. It is better if the abuser makes this change when not with you, because it takes a while for an abuser to fully overcome. While they are overcoming, you don’t have to ‘help’ them. It’s their battle and you need to let them fight it or else they will give the excuse that you are the cause of it.
- Your list of dislikes for your partner is endless vice-verse
God made everyone with uniqueness that should be appreciated by whoever we decide to be in a romantic relationship with. You can’t change anyone from who they are to suit what you want them to be. The same way you do not expect your partner to change you just to suit them. Changing a person is God’s business not yours. However, God can use you to encourage or initiate that change but it is not your primary responsibility. You shouldn’t be in a relationship where you want to change everything about your partner or your partner wants to change you. That is clear enough evidence that you are holding on to the wrong one. Quit.
- Your Partner Is Manipulative. Manipulation is terrible, it is evil. It never has good intentions for its victim. Being with a partner who always wants things to be done their way regardless of what you feel is bad. There’s no superior or senior in the relationship. You should not be forced or cajoled to do what you don’t want to do just to satisfy the manipulator. Some partner once they are wrong they have a way of twisting to make it seem like it’s not their fault or make it seem like you made them do it. You can never be happy with someone who controls your life just to make them happy. Your happiness deserves expression too. Go for it.
- Been Dating For A Long Time With No Sign Of Commitment
Dating for a long time with no commitment is like fetching water into a basket. There’s no possibility that it would eventually led into a promising long term relationship. Why court for four or five years. If you are not ready, then don’t make the commitment. The length is of you friendship or courtship is no guarantee for a successful marriage
- Secretly Wishing You Were With Someone Else
No matter how beautiful a relationship is there would be a few times when you would be upset about something your partner does or didn’t do, you forgive and move on. That offense doesn’t want to make you throw away the relationship. There may even be instances of major misunderstanding but you are willing to make up and move on. This is not the same that your instinct nudges you that you may be happier with someone else because you are not getting desired fulfilment from your current relationship.
- Arguments And Misunderstanding Cannot Be Amicably Settled
When there are incessant arguments with no one willing to come to a compromise is a bad sign. Each of you will at some time make sacrifices for the relationship to work, it can’t be just you or your partner. You can never avoid arguing with your partner on certain issues. Sometimes, ‘healthy argument’ maybe the only way to pass across your point. Each misunderstand must strengthen your relationship and not hurt you or make you feel responsible for it. If you cannot amicably come to a reasonable conclusion after an argument, then you would never have a partner whose views you truly understand. Arguments without settlement breed malice.
You cannot have a beautiful long term relationship with someone who does not know God or have no relationship with God. Except if you too do not also know God but the truth is you can never give or receive true love outside of God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:8. Be sure your partner is has a relationship with God before you make a commitment.