“I am 32 and I am really worried about not being in a committed relationship. Most of my mates are married with kids and seem happy and fulfilled. Someone introduced me to this Christian dating site weeks ago. I got hooked with this 40 years old guy who really seem to be nice whenever we chat or talk on phone. I am yet to meet him in person but we talk several times in a day. He proposed to me during one of our phone discussion, but I just want to be sure I am doing the right thing.”
It is only natural to get impatient after waiting for some time to get something or for something to happen to you and it didn’t happen. This is worse when you have to wait a really long time. However, there are certain issues in life that we cannot get impatient about than to just do it right. Deciding about whom you will spend the rest of your life with is not an issue you decide in a hurry neither a decision you should make because you are under pressure. When reality dawns in marriage, you are likely to regret not taken the necessary steps before tying the knots.
Although in all of the dating sites there are testimonial of those who claim these things work for them but I am sure they would still be those who would not say same thing. Just like many other things in life, that someone found love and got married to a person of their dream through a dating site may not be the same for you. Even if it claims to be a Christian site doesn’t guarantee that you will find an angel there.
Here are my suggestions as you decide on your choice;
- Don’t Rush. Isn’t it better to be single and happy at 32 than to be married and be miserable wishing you had waiting for the right person. The truth is, whenever you are in a hurry to get something done, you are likely going to miss out details that may become threat to a blissful marriage. Rush will make you hook up with anyone available even if that person is not your ‘standard’, you are going to hurt yourself in the process. Save yourself a hurting or broken marriage by applying some patient to your search.
- Don’t Compare. Sometimes when we see our contemporary move on to where we desire we often think they are better off; we believe God hears and answers their prayers and ignore us. Even when you think others are doing better than you, there are still others that you are better than in many ways. Quit comparing and focus on yourself and your path of life. You are likely to get frustrated when you compare yourself with others. You do not even know what they are going through in life and whether they are happy with their choices or not.
- Marriage Does Not Give You Satisfaction And Happiness. If you were never happy and satisfied with who you are as an unmarried person, don’t expect that marriage will do the magic. True happiness comes from within and not about attaining something in life like getting married. And don’t be deceived too, not all of your married friends may be as happy as they seem especially if they feel they made the wrong choice out of desperation.
- There’s A Difference Between Christian and Godly. Anybody can walk into a church building and claim to be a Christian. A godly person is a child of God, someone who is consciously living a godly life and not just a church-goer. Anybody can claim to be a Christian on a dating site just to get what they are looking for. So the fact that you met your partner in church is not a guarantee that your partner is god-fearing or that your marriage will last. Do not be deceived, even the devil goes to church. “Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan came also among them.” Job 1:6. Meeting a partner on a dating site is like meeting that person anywhere else irrespective of the title “Christian”
- Test Every Spirit. If someone you are interested in spending the rest of your life with claims to be a Christian you want to “test” if that’s true. How do you do that with someone on a dating site? My dear friend don’t believe everything you hear. “Carefully weigh and examine what people tell you. Not everyone who talks about God comes from God. There are a lot of lying preachers loose in the world.” 1John4:1. “On the other hand, don’t be gullible. Check out everything, and keep only what’s good.” 1Thes 5:21
- How Do You Know If He/She Meets Your Expectations Of A Marital Partner? Everyone has certain expectations of the kind of person they want to spend the rest of your life with. How do you determine meeting, dating and planning to get married online? Although some people may argue about distance, especially if the partners do not live in same country or state. Meeting in person on a few occasions before deciding to marry is recommended.
- Have A Physical Meeting. It is highly advisable that before you make serious commitment about your relationship that you have a personal contact with the person. You want to see what the person looks like. Physical attraction is key in marriage and some people look different on the internet. These days, the internet has made communication between intending partners easy but that cannot pass for you meeting the person physically. Even if or when you make a video call you still want to be sure of your choice. There are many dating sites people pose to be who they are not defrauding gullible and desperate-for-love people.
- Is Your Online Courting Effective? You cannot rule out courtship in your relationship. This is a time where you want to know more about the person you are going to make commitment with. You really want to know if he or she is and not just the person chatting on the other side. How do you know their likes and dislikes, their character e.t.c
- Know His Family And Friends. No body fell from the sky. Even if a person is an orphan or claims to have no family member, it is not possible that he would have no one alive that he or she is not related to. What about friends? Some people often believe that you marry just the individual; this can only be true to some extent. The kind of family or friends he or she has says a lot about the kind of person they are. You need to know the family that will become yours.
- What About His Background? Knowing a person’s background is more than finding out where he was born, school he attended and what neighborhood he grew up. You need to find out more serious issues like if he or she was married, have children, been involve in crime, have drug problems etc, Nobody puts these kind of these online for prospective partners to know. This doesn’t not mean that you can’t marry an ex-con if you are convinced and if he or she has truly repented.
- Have You Prayed? Prayer plays a huge role in choosing a life partner because you want to be guided by the Spirit of God to a choice you will be happy with
“Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track.” Pro 3:5-6