Priscilla was a bad girl. I never liked her but she wanted to be my friend by all means. She was same age with me, but she was taller and very skinny. She was a thin girl. I was fat, short and ALEXugly. She loved playing with boys and letting the boys touch her. I hated that. She was prettier than me but I was more intelligent. Everyone in school wanted to be friends with her because of her fine face. I also thought it was a fake beauty because she used lip gloss and eyeliner sometimes to school and always had her hair in a bun.

She was too much about boys.

“Hi Alex,” I first pretended I didn’t hear her. Priscilla only wanted to be my friend because she knew I was the most intelligent girl in school. She wanted someone who would do her assignments while she played with boys.

“Hi Priscilla,” I said without looking at her.

“Would you like to come to my party on Saturday?” She said walking behind me. There was a boy walking with her. Just as I expected. The boy smiled at me, I looked away.

“No thanks. I will be helping my mum with…” I was not very good at telling lies.

“It’s just going to be a small party, there would be lots of cakes, candies, chocolates…” she held me in a friendly way trying to convince me to come.

“Will there be boys?” I knew there would be boys but I wanted her to say so.

“No boys. Just my brothers and my two cousins.” She said begging me with her eyes.

“Your brothers and cousins are boys. Boys are dangerous and I don’t like staying around them.” I was hoping she would not bother me.

“Please Alex. This party would mean a lot to me if you can make.” It looked like there was more to the party.

“Is this about your assignment?” I asked her.

“Yes, I thought we could go over my assignment before or after this small party.” Priscilla was happy again.

“Okay, I will come for your assignment but not for your party.” I walked away from her.

There were many reasons I didn’t like boys. This is one of them.

Last Christmas when we had some of my cousins come to our house for the holiday, two of my older cousins were always touching me whenever we were asleep. Without my clothes on. They also peeped at me bathing. One time, one of them, Carl insisted on having his bath with me. I refused. While I was having my bath, he came into the bathroom, took off his clothes and started to share the bathroom with me. I couldn’t look at him.

“I’m going to tell my mum. I will tell her you have also been crawling to my bed at night. I will tell her everything.” I wrapped my towel around my chest and stormed out.

“Please don’t do that, your mum won’t believe you…” he said still not having his clothes on. He wanted me to look at him.

As I got dressed I thought about what he said, if mum would really believe me if I told her. Carl was like a brother to me and mum treated him like a son. What would mum think if she knew that boys have started touching me? She always said it was a bad thing for boys to touch or see a girl’s private parts. Mum always had long stories about boys and private parts.

Mum and I were not really close but she always told me to protect my private parts. I started to cry. I can’t tell mum this. I thought to myself. She would be too disappointed and she won’t even believe a good boy such as Carl would do such a thing. I won’t even think of telling dad. He hardly knew what happened at home.

“Why are you crying? Did you tell her?” Carl came to meet me in my room. He was still having the towel around his waist. He was smiling to me like he was happy I couldn’t tell mum.

“Get out of my room Carl. I hate you!” I was crying and afraid to scream for anyone to hear us.

“I love you Alex and I am not doing anything bad.” He said pulling me to himself. I started to struggle. I didn’t know how old Carl was but he was bigger and taller than I. He had strong muscles. I didn’t want him to hug me so I pushed him. His towel fell. He had no underpants. I was embarrassed. Even when he came into the bathroom I didn’t have a look at him. I fell on my bed and covered my head with my pillow. He laid on me and touched me all over with his bare body. I cried beneath my pillow and was hoping mum would come.

When he got tired he left me. It ended up been a sad Christmas. I never told anyone. I was too afraid and ashamed to tell anyone. Besides, Carl already said no one would believe me.

That’s why I didn’t like boys.

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